On May 12th a very close friend who I’ve know since the 3rd grade sent me this message.
“ Hey hun so i gotta tell you something . I didnt tell you when i found out at the end of last month bc i didnt want you to go into early labor but i have been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease lymphoma , it’s a form of cancer but curable . I begin my chemo within these next few weeks . I had to let my rolldog since 3rd grade know” I can’t find the words to express how hurt and angry I was. I questioned why god was taking her through this, but then I quickly reminded myself that he will never put more in you than you can bear. My girl is strong and we will fight this battle together one day at a time 💪🏾💪🏾 CANCER WILL NOT WIN. Do to her not being able to work, she has created a go fund me account to held with her medical expenses, as well as school. If you can help in anyway it is greatly appreciated. https://www.gofundme.com/fighting-back-from-cancer God bless you 🙏🏾
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I was back in forth on weather or not I wanted to share something soo personal with the world, however here I am.
As a new mother I decided to feed my baby naturally, by breastfeeding. I didn’t know the first thing about breastfeeding but I knew it was something I wanted to do. Before having my baby boy I never thought about the negativity that comes with breastfeeding. Lately I have been seeing some very rude remarks, videos, and pictures in regard to breastfeeding. The major thing for me is nursing your little one in public without covering up. I have seen some of the nastiest most rudest comments pertaining to this topic. Most feel like us Mother’s need to 1. Cover up or 2. Nurse privately. But what they don’t consider is that who wants their face covered while eating, and who wants to be running around looking for a discrete place to nurse when their little one is demanding their only source of food. It’s a shame that this is America, something soo pure, natural, and beautiful is frowned upon by many. Us mother’s should not have to worry about what someone is going to say, when we feed our babies. My baby is 10 weeks and I have yet to nurse in public, because of the fear of the negative remarks. I really hope that someday soon I can come to a place where I am comfortable feeding my baby in public, and that in the future the public will be more accepting of it. Huge thanks to the Breastfeeding support group for black moms, you all have been amazing. I would have never shared my personal image if it weren’t for the support of you ladies. In 2013 My Junior year in high school, I decided I was no longer happy and ran away from home. Something that I thought was a great idea ended up being a terrible one. What I did not know is that I would hurt like I did, and that for the next year and a half I’d move TEN TIMES, yes you read that right. Each time I moved I loss something, clothes, shoes,etc. but I never lost myself. I shared beds, I slept on couches, but I had a roof over my head and for that I was humbly grateful. During this time in my life people said all kinds of things about me; “She’s going to be pregnant,” “She is pregnant,” “She’s not going to graduate high school,” “She’s not going to go to college,” pretty much anything negative you can think of. But let me tell you how good my God was to me. Not only did I graduate high school with a 3.4 GPA, but I got an Internship at the federal court house, and I went to college on a FULL ride. You can’t tell me my god isn’t awesome. I dodged every bullet that came flying my way, everything everyone was saying didn’t bother me one bit, because proving someone wrong speaks volumes. To those that opened up their homes to me I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. To Natalee, Mrs.Mayes, Mrs. Ericka and Mrs.Donyale, thank you all for listening and being there when I needed you most. To my parents I’m sorry for the hurt I caused you, and to my God, thank you for never giving up on me.
Like many mother’s my pregnancy was unplanned and unexpected. When I found out I was pregnant, my senior year in college was just starting that same week. For days weeks even months I worried about 1. Would I be able to finish school? 2. How the he’ll I was going to afford a baby? I was going to school full time and working part time, so I barely had enough money to pay bills, let alone take care of a child. Prayer is what got me through this trying time, I missed many classes and became very lazy, but I never felt defeated because I knew that I had my God rooting for me every step of the way. On May 6th, 2018 I had planned to walk across the stage to receive my bachelors, but god has other plans. I gave birth to a 7lb 7oz beautiful baby boy, and everything I once worried about went out the door. I want you to know that just because you hit a block in the road doesn’t mean that you have to put life on hold. Never in a million years did I think I’d get pregnant while I was in school, but I’m grateful that I did because my baby boy gave me a new meaning of life, and gave me motivation to finish school for him.
Heres a picture of me “Starting a diet tomorrow.” This picture was taken back in 2016, in the gym at my apartment complex. I was motivated and told myself I wasn’t going to give up, and that I was going to get that summer body by all means lol. Yeah right my so called diet lasted not even a week long. Everyday I went to the gym I cut my workout “Walking the treadmill” a little shorter, let’s just say I grew lazier by the day. I’d say I was somewhere around 241 pounds at that time, and stayed that weight for another year. To this day I’m still “Starting a diet tomorrow,” though I am a lot smaller now I have not had any successful “Dieting.” Moral of the story is, that you and I both know that, that diet we’re starting tomorrow is just for the day, or maybe a couple of days.
It’s 4:14am and I’m up thinking about the life I want to give you. In the short time we’ve spent together you have opened up my eyes to soo much. You have shown me that life is bigger than going to work and coming home, it’s about LIVING your BEST life. Before you I didn’t care about living my best life, school, work, and Home was satisfying. But each and every day I look at you I learn a little more about living my best life, and what that TRULY means.
Well!! Let me tell you son. Providing a happy life for you, showing you the world beyond America, investing in your future, creating opportunity for you, providing a worry free life for you, giving you all the things I didn’t have growing up, being your biggest advocate, and letting you make mistakes but also allowing you to learn from them. You truly give me a new meaning of this thing called LIFE. We were not created to work and die, we are here for a purpose, and you my son have shown that purpose. In the early hours on 10-07-2015 I received a random phone call from my brother at 1:16am, which was not normal. I remember him being upset about something that had happened at work and just calling to vent. Mid conversation the call dropped, but I didn’t call back because I assumed he was soo upset that he was done talking. After the call ended I walked to my dorm room and went to bed.
Later that morning I got up and headed to my 8am English class like normal. I sat in class and scrolled through twitter as I waited for class to start, then something caught my attention. My cousin tweeted “Please pray for my family” and mentioned my brothers page in the tweet. So I immediately called my dad to see what was going on, only to find out my brother had been killed in a tragic car accident. My entire world went completely dark, I felt like my heart had been broken into a billion pieces . Storming out of class hollering and crying, I made my way back to my dorm room. During this time I was a Sophomore in college, and did not think I would finish school, and my grades would start to slip. Once I returned to school I became very weak, quiet, and secluded from the outside world. I was not ready to except the fact that I had loss someone very near and dear to my heart. Knowing that I had 3 months of that semester left and the entire spring semester left, for weeks I grew careless and started missing class. I couldn’t sleep at night, and did not want to sleep alone, soo for months I had friends and residents sleep over at my dorm, because I was terrified to close my eyes. This went on for 7 months, until I decided it was best I live off campus. So I moved and slowly started returning to my normal self. I ended up finishing my sophomore year with a 3.5 GPA, and returned for my junior year. On May 4th I graduated from Northern Kentucky University with my bachelors degree with a 3.1 GPA. After loosing my brother I did not think I’d ever see that day, everyday for 7 months all I could think about was wanting to be with him, nothing else mattered. I share this with you, because I want you to know that if god brings you to it he will bring you through it. Life throws all kinds of things at us during the worst possible times, you will feel broken and weak during these times, but I want you to know that you can pick up the pieces and keep going. Never let life’s disturbances allow you to lose sight of something you’ve worked hard for. Yes I lost someone I was very close to, but he was my motivation to grind even harder, and that’s what I did. I know that my brother is proud, and I know that one day we will see each other again. Are you at a point in your life, where you feel like you’re not doing enough, or it’s taking you longer to reach your goals?
Well that would be me, I’m constantly reminding myself that I’m only 22, and I have time to get a great paying career and to buy a beautiful home with my future husband. Social media has made my generation rush into things they’re not ready for, buy featuring young people bringing in big money, and buying their dream homes with what seems like the perfect man or woman. That is a fairytale, and what god has for you it is for you. Stop letting that couple on YouTube that you watch everyday have you thinking you need to do more, no you don’t, you’re doing just fine. Stop letting that person that’s always traveling have you thinking that you’re doing something wrong, you aren’t your time is coming. Stop letting those who you went to school with that have graduated or are working towards their degree have you talking down on yourself, school is not for everyone and maybe that’s not your calling “God has something else in store for you.” All in all stop beating yourself because you see somebody else doing something you think you should be doing, we are young and everything we’re working for is to come. BE PATIENT Have you ever sat and thought about how much money some of your favorite artists, singer/song writers, actors/actresses, professional fighters, and athletes make from your support?
Were you aware that they make a good chunk of their money from your support? Have you ever gotten anything in appreciation from these million dollar individuals? Do you support local, and small businesses like you support these people who 1. You don’t know. 2. You’re likely to never meet. 3. Spend their money on things like an eight million dollar watch (Mayweather). If you answered yes to the first three questions and no to the last one, this is specifically for your eyes. Now that I have your attention, think about everything you’ve read up until this point. You’re probably thinking “Man she hit this right on the nose.” Society is set up for the rich to stay rich and the poor to stay poor. All of the professional sports teams you have bought tickets to go and support do not make you any money, they take your money and keep taking it. All of the Beyoncé, Chris Brown, etc. concert tickets you spent your bill money on, multiple times, to sit in a seat that provides a terrible view, DON’T make you any money. I think by now you see where I’m going with this. We spend to much time, and energy making sure the rich stay rich, meanwhile we’re out here living paycheck to paycheck. Stop giving these people your money, and start supporting your local business owners, your friend who’s started a YouTube channel, the woman on Facebook selling jewelry, and small businesses. Your money will be soo much more appreciated if you do these things. I really hope that after reading this you will take this advice with you. |
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