I have always been a bigger girl, the smallest I ever weighed in my teenage/adult life was around 175. I would look at other girls and wish to be their size, or wish to have something they have that I don’t, i.e a bigger butt or smaller breasts. For years I was soo insecure about my weight, there were times where I would walk sideways when passing a guy, just because I didn’t want him looking at my butt and teasing me about it. I had put it in my head that I was supposed to look a certain way in order to be accepted. This eventually grew to me not wanting to take full body pictures, to me not wanting to take pictures at all.
My senior year of high school is when my weight really took a huge leap from the 170s to the 200s. I felt completely disgusting, I didn’t even recognize who I was. I got to a point where I would not even look at myself naked. This was a time in my life where I fell victim to depression, and to cope I ate more and more which led to excessive weight gain. Once I went off to college I told myself I have to get healthier, so everyday my roommate and I would go to the gym. It wasn’t long before I gave up on the gym, because I wasn’t seeing the results I wanted and became discouraged, so the weight gain continued. Fast forward to my sophomore year. I was the biggest I have ever been, weighing 242 pounds, again I started working out and even incorporated a healthier diet. It wasn’t long before that ended, and I returned back to a unhealthy lifestyle. Over and over again I would do this, until one day I told myself to be comfortable in the body I’m in. God gave me this body and I am going to wear it unashamedly. Once I put this in my head things started to change for me, I was happier now that I could except my body, I started loosing weight without even trying, and I started taking more pictures. From my constant struggle with my weight I learned to stop comparing myself to others, 1. Because there are girls smaller than me that would like to be bigger or have bigger breasts and a smaller butt. And 2. Because beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes, and it’s not a crime to be bigger nor smaller. To anyone that has struggled with excepting their body, remember that you are beautiful, and whatever body god gives you wear that sucker like its your favorite outfit. Stay fierce and stay fabulous.
2 Comments
Chelsy
9/9/2018 10:09:51 pm
Sometimes as women our weight will fluctuate, but pease remember you are beautiful no matter what!
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